Sleep easy, lad.

There is so much crap on TV these days. There’s not a lot I watch, apart from Lost - and I’m thrilled that’s back.

However, I surprise myself a great deal by realising I’m really enjoying ‘Dancing On Ice’ on ITV. Maybe it’s because BBC 1’s god-awful ‘The One and Only’ is so, so bad, or maybe it’s because Holly Willoughby is so tasty? I don’t know, but it’s pretty good watching. It’s not normally my thing, either, so it does come as a bit of a shock.

One thing does annoy me about it, though. And I don’t mean Phillip Schofield - he’s OK. Why is it that all of these kinds of TV shows rely on having an overgrown panel of ‘judges’, who just play characters? You have your normal judges and then you always have the ‘Simon Cowell’ - the one who always seems to be being harsh and unfair, in this case being Jason Gardiner; what an absolute cock he is. The thing is, Cowell really does do the job well, and you can tell he’s being honest. With Gardiner and all the others on all the other shows, the ‘Mr Nasty’ judge role has just become a parody of itself.

The Suzzane chick will win it, by the way.